Living in the west, we are thought to be opposite of Haya. And, Haya is actually looked down upon. However; in Islam it is exactly opposite. The only way to learn Haya is by learning through Islamic Way.
Allaah is watching us no mater what we are doing. Haya is not only about women wearing Hijab and men lowering their gaze.
It is often thought that Haya is only confined to how a person chooses to dress up. Modesty in dressing is just one element of being in the state of Haya. Quintessentially, Haya is a pure psychological state in which a person operates and performs his/her tasks. It helps a person to choose good over bad, to be attracted towards purity and repulse all that is impure, and to be mindful of their decisions. Haya is the drive that motivates a believer and at every step of their lives provides them with the opportunity to please Allah by shying away from bad conduct, feeling embarrassed, uncomfortable and awkward in performing or partnering indecent acts. Thus, Haya shapes up the character and personality of a believer with all that is good.
· Haya is part of Faith – Haya is good and not a bad thing. It can be present in both males and females.
· The majority of the inhabitants of hell-fire will be females , and the majority from them are the ones who have no control in tongues. So do you think the one who is modest and do not talk wrong ,will be accounted for wrong speech or will they end up in hell-fire? NO! This is something to ponder upon
· Uthman Ibn Affan(RA) – he is the most bashful companion. And, even the angels will feel a sense of haya when they are around with him. So, this is something to ponder upon for both the brothers & sisters who thinks that haya is only for sisters.
· "Being conscious of Allah and acquiring Taqwa"
- This is also Haya as this will help us to connect with Allah. It is exactly like how we act when our bosses are watching our work. When, someone is watching us, we will be conscious of what we are doing. This is exactly, how we should feel when we have the conscious that Allah is watching over us.
“Speak Good or Remain Silent”- We all know this hadith but in terms application, we are very weak.
“Among the things that people have found from the words of the previous prophets was: 'If you feel no shame, then do as you wish.”[Al-Bukhari]
We should be shy when we are speaking, we should be feeling ashamed if spoke wrong things. This is very important, as the people tend to forget about these etiquettes in Facebook, twitter or any other social networking sites. They will use bad words, and they will think it’s funny. However, it is not, aren't they afraid of Allah (SWT)? They would be feeling ashamed to use those same foul language when they are in front of the children, or their parents etc.
Learning Point: We should be feeling ashamed to speak foul language at all times because we know that Allah is watching us. And, of course, if we have done sins we should seek repentance.#AllahDeservesOurHaya
· One bad word can bring us to hellfire- so we should be careful, mindful on what is coming from our mouth.
· It’s now the time, that we should distance ourselves to the ones who use foul language even if they are our close family members. It is because our priority is Allah, our lord. We can say Salam to the family members who are using the foul language, but we should be away from them. And, we should surround ourselves with the good companions who have good etiquettes.
Prophet said Speak good or be silent. Think about your words and pitch before you speak. When you are about to speak with a person who argues a lot, ask Allaah to help you with proper words and wisdom in order to talk to that person.
We have to be shy when speaking. When we speak wrong, we should really be guilty. Speaking bad and slang words is not cool, it is disgusting. If a person doesn’t feel guilty when using foul language, then there is something wrong with the persons Haya.
Modesty ( Hayaa ) is applicable to every aspect of our lives. Because only when we have hayaa that we are conscious about Allah watching us, and we are ashamed to sin. We become our worst when we become angry.... so we need to try our best to contain our anger.. and be modest in our speech!
· “If a woman passes in front of you, lower your eyes until she has passed by”- this is applicable for both the sisters and brothers, and we should start to revive this Sunnah.
A Story About Being Modest:
· From the Musa(AS) story, we can see how much respect and modesty that he has shown when he interacted with the opposite gender. When, he met the girls, he asked them to walk behind him as their clothes are flying away due to the wind, thus exposing their legs.
– This is a lesson/reflection for Muslim brothers/sisters who have not married yet. Think about this, marrying a modest brother/sister is based upon how you are modest. If you are modest, you will get modest brother/sister. If you are not, you will not get the modest brother/sister.
· Guarding our Gaze- it’s not only in our clothing but it is about how we carry ourselves like whether we laugh too much, or dance around etc. And, for brothers, its time to remind you all that it is NO,NO for tight jeans or anything that is not appropriate. It is important for both genders to be dignified, as the haya is not limited for only sisters. Haya is for both genders.
In Islam, Hijaab rules are for both brothers and sisters. It’s important that we all follow the rule in the same way. Dignify yourself with your outer wear. The more we dignify our self by outer garment, the more Imaan we have inside. And then, hijaab is not just covering the head properly but your clothing should not be transparent, tight, see-through [Both for men & women].
Hijaab is not about wearing lots of make-up. Hijaab is about take that affect away.
We need to dress our children properly. Teachj them about Haya from a small age, help them know what Islam says about Modesty. Show them to lower their gaze. So as they
grow older, they can guard their modesty themselves.
· For males, their uniform is from belly button to knees. If ,some brothers think that there is need for them to expose more body parts in their workplace, this is the time that you should think about your priorities. Is your priority, Allah or your work?
· For females, some hijabis are more attractive than models. Hijab is not only about headscarf, you should not wear make-up, tight-clothing, and any sort that grabs attention.
· Wearing the clothing that represents haya, it is not very easy job, it might take time, but we should take that initiative.
· Hugging/Handshake of opposite gender (sadly, this is represented even in the Muslim countries)– this is a NO,NO. We all know the hadith of PBUH that how he has warned us severely, as it is equivalent to the needles poking our heads.
· Beard- it’s a beautiful part of haya. This means you love Allah, and you love to follow the Sunnah of PBUH.
· We should teach our children at the young age not to stare at the opposite genders and even our own genders when they are not dressing appropriately. Let the young children to wear proper clothes, even at the young age.
· If you don’t want men to treat you like animal , then you should wear properly. Its actually very simple and that is why in the Quran , Allah (SWT) commanded us to draw our cloak(wear hijab). We are humans and we should not follow without thinking just like animals. We should be feeling shy to Allah (SWT) like how we feel shy to someone we respect. Think about animals, a prey that is well hidden to be well protected from predator, that’s how a Muslimah should think, we should take precautions by being conscious about our dress codes, and also our behavior. #AllahDeservesOurShynessThanAnyOthers
· PBUH was more shy than a virgin female- #Sunnah #Haya
Conclusion:
When we talk about haya & modesty, it’s a whole lifestyle. We need to have a boundary, we don’t shake hands with the opposite non-mahram gender. And as far as growing beards in concerned, it is Sunnah growing them. The more modest we are, the more we are close to be better human beings.
Prophet(PBUH) was known as the most modest person even before Prophet hood.
We must understand that Islam is not here to create difficulties for us, but it is a divine gift to humans from their Creator, to help us live our temporary lives in the best possible manner. Also, we must realize that Islam is perfect, its teachings are perfect and so whatever it gives us, we should take it happily. A Muslim without a strong sense of Haya puts his Emaan (faith) into doubt. Because how can a Muslim (the one who submits his will to God) perform an act of sin comfortably, without feeling any guilt, shame or embarrassment? It is the sense of Haya which serves as a self-accountability mechanism for every believing man or woman.
We need to realize the fact that our thinking affects our attitudes; our attitudes shape up behaviors and our behaviors guide our actions, which in turn forms our personalities over a period of time. If we do not change our thinking regarding the importance of Haya in our lives today, tomorrow we should not expect our children to be highly modest and having a strong sense of Haya in them. Being Muslims; we should strive to become the epitome of Haya, so that others in our society can follow us as role models and improve their lives too. It is highly recommended to take out a notepad and list down the strengths & weaknesses in your personality. Let’s not just plan as always to improve our selves, let’s act for a change.
Q&A (Summary):
1) Girls/Ladies Parties
-It is best to wear hijab even if your attending those parties as some sisters can take pictures of yours and there is possibility of the pictures to be leaked to non-Mahrams.
2) Female speakers in front of public
-The majority of the shuyookh do allow female speakers , however, they should dress properly, correct tone, proper topic, the gathering should be either only sisters or both genders, and due to necessity.
3) showing private parts(young children) to the parents
-Scholars have agreed upon it.As in case of necessity when the children need to show in order to receive medical help, it is permissible. However, showing private parts should not be a normal thing at a normal scenario. This is only done in case of necessity.
4)Girl Parties-Singing & Dancing is it allowed?
Debatable Topic. However, the important thing is that MUSIC IS NOT ALLOWED
5) Breast Feeding In Public
It is preferred not to do it, you can do it in closure for example, in a car etc. However, in case of necessity, it is okay but need to be in proper hijab.
Do you have any other questions? You can either comment below or email us at sistersweeklyhalaqah@gmail.com. We will respond to your queries to our best of ability or send the questions to Sister Zohra Sarwari :)
