A message from our mothers to our sisters
Sheik Navaid Aziz
Story of Umm Waraka (RA)
Umm Waraka was one of the most knowledgeable female
companions. She was the only woman appointed as an imam by the Prophet (SAW)
over those who lived in her house. Her beautiful recitation could be heard
around before salatul fajr. And during day she could be found praying in the
deepest corners of her house. One day when the Prophet (SAW) was announcing to
the Muslims that they would be going our for the battle of Badr, Umm Waraka
went to the Prophet (SAW) and said - “Ya rasul’ullah! Why is it that the men
can attain such high ranks in paradise through martyrdom in the way of
Allah(SWT) but the women are left behind? Please let me come with you, even if
it is just to tend to the sick and the needy.”
TO this, the Prophet (SAW) advised her “stay in your house and you will have your
martyrdom”
So,Umm Waraka stayed in her house during all of the future
expeditions and told her servants and slaves that once she dies, they would all
be free. Years go by, Prophet (SAW) passed away and the people wonder how the
Prophet (SAW) could have been incorrect. Finally by the time of Umar (RA)’s
khilafa, the servants grow anxious and impatient for their freedom and decide
to kill Umm Waraka. One night when she
is in bed, they cover her head with a pillow and kill her. Thus she attains
martyrdom (as being killed unjustly is being killed a martyr) and
the Prophet (SAW)’s word proves true.
Umm Waraka’s story teaches the following lessons:
-
We all have aspirations in life;
we all have certain goals and our own ways of attaining the goal. And, often we
become so set in a particular way of achieving the goal that we begin to think
there is only one way of attaining it and there is no other way.
-
The above story also beautifully illustrates that if a person
sincerely desires paradise through martyrdom, Allah (SWT) will grant it to
them, even if it is in their own house
-
How amazing is Qadr, predestiny!
Allah (SWT) has already predestined everything such that it cannot escape us
even if it is by just sitting at home.
The beautiful dua of Asiyah (AS), the wife of Pharoah – “
Rabbi ibni li indaka baitan fi al jannathi” has been forever preserved in
the Quran by Allah (SWT), as an example for us to follow. The story of Maryam
(AS) has also been mentioned in the Quran by Allah (SWT) to inspire and guide
us.
The Quran and Sunnah contain many such examples for people
but when we abandon the Quran, we abandon these role excellent role models as
well, thus not knowing the legacies they left behind.
Today we shall take a glimpse of these legacies and advice
the sisters through them.
Firstly, we need to realise the dynamics of the
world are changing. Before it was enough that a woman stayed silent at
home and took care of her kids and she was considered noble in the society.
But today she is not only expected to work and earn more or
less like a man and still take care of her home and kids at the end of the day.
Allah expects us to change with the times but within the
realms of the Shariah. Doing the best deed possible at a given time with
utmost Ihsaan (perfection, excellence) is the key to success and the key to
Allah’s blessings. Having said this, women today face a lot of challenges
which need to be addressed :-
1) MODESTY
One of the biggest challenges faced by sisters today is that
of modesty. Modesty means refraining from displeasing Allah (SWT)
– this is the essence of modesty. And it applies to both men and women.
Hijab is one of the elements of modesty but a greater
sign of modesty is how a woman conducts herself. Modesty does not mean a woman
keeps herself to her home. Rather it means when she does interact with the
world, she does so in a way that is pleasing to Allah (SWT).
Modesty is something the sisters need to be very careful
about due to the two reasons:-
- Fashion
Fashion is getting crazier these
days, with clothes getting shorter and tighter. When the sisters go to school
or work, they are exposed to such cultures, which show women attain success
through their looks or fashion. Thus Shaitan tempts the sisters and it’s easy
to fall into the trap. We sisters need to fight the temptation, continue
wearing the hijab and know the true success is from Allah (SWT) alone.
- Onslaught
against muslims
Onslaught against Muslims in
places like France
to ban hijab have been taking place. This could soon spread to other parts of
the world and even where we live, unless we take a proactive part in the media,
in the law, in the legislation.
In some communities they are trying to pass a
bill against Niqab. Niqab is just the beginning, the hijab will come next. Thus
it’s crucial for sisters to start speaking up and show how the hijab has
empowered us, freed us, that it’s not a form of oppression. It’s important for
the sisters to speak up in defence of our Deen.
If the men speak up against
this issue, they get labelled. Thus the sisters need to start raising their
voices.
2) Relationship
amongst sisters
Imam Al Bukhari (RA) in his book, Sahih Al Bukhari, has an
entire chapter entitled “Anger and jealousy of women”. In it he (RA)
narrates a beautiful hadiths, the gist of which is as follows:-
Prophet (saw) asked softly to Aisha(RA) to sit near him.
Then he told her “I know when you are angry with me and I know when you are
happy with me”. So Aisha (RA) asks him“ Ya rasul’ullah! How do you know when
I’m angry and how do you know when I’m happy?”
The prophet (saw) replied “ O’ Aisha, when you are angry
with me you say ‘by the Lord of Ibrahim’ and when you are happy with me you say
‘by the Lord of Muhammad’”
To this, Aisha (ra) replied “ ya rasul’ullah! Though the
name may change on my tongue, the love for you always remains in my heart”
-The above hadiths shows us how a woman reacts. If the man
is tender and kind towards her, a woman will react as such to him. If a man is
vile and unkind towards her, she react the same.
-
However, the anger of Aisha (ra)
did not turn into slander or back biting or insults. It was within the realms
of permissibility. All she did was change ‘Muhammad’ to ‘Ibrahim’. And this is
the advice for sisters, that its not that you do not have the right to get
angry or you do not have the right to speak out. But it needs to be kept within
the realms of permissibility.
-
For instance if a sister offends you, do not
go rip off her hijab! Rather make Dua to Allah for her and go advice her and
keep it within the limits.
3) Islamic education for woman
“If you educate
a man, you educate an individual. If you educate a woman, you educate an entire
household”
-
When the men are out at work, it’s
usually the woman who interact more with the children. Thus it’s important for
woman to spend at least a few minutes a day to educate themselves about the Deen.
-
Children have a right upon their mothers;
they have the right to be taught proper Islam and the proper spirituality. If
the sisters don’t take up that responsibility, who is going to teach our
children.
-
Why is it that we always see only
male speakers upon the stage? The way the world is going, we need more female
speakers too who are educated enough, and who have the capability, so we can
easily fill the room with sisters alone.
-So sisters, step up to the
challenge, get the Islamic knowledge, and learn how to speak, so you can
educate the sisters.
4) Marriage
One of the biggest challenges
sisters face all across the world is marriage. It’s usually due to one of the
two things:-
- They
don’t find someone who meets their expectations
- Placing
education before marriage.
There is a delusion ‘I can always
get married no matter how far I go in my education’, while the reality may
differ. Allah has placed it in our fitrah to need companionship and being
married is a halal way of honouring it.
Don’t let your education prevent you,
nor let your marriage prevent you from reaching your aspirations in life.
Rather be very diligent and select a man who will support and encourage you to
achieve your aspirations.
5) The
two tricks of Allah (SWT) for women
The Prophet (sas):
"Kullukum raa'in wa kullukum mas'oolun 'an ra'iyyatihi
"All of you are shepherds and all of you will be asked about your
wards."
- Bukhari
-
There are two forms of leadership
Allah (swt) expects from men and women. Allah has made men leaders from the
front and this is their challenge. Allah has made women leaders from the back
and this is their challenge.
-
This means, the man is in
charge of directing the woman and a woman is in charge of suggesting and
implicitly directing her man.
-
Thus a women needs to know how to
use the leadership from back approach and read her man. If you need your man to
do anything, Allah (swt) has given the sisters two tricks
1) your looks
2) the food you cook
Use the
above two wisely and rectify the situation!
Conclusion:
Fate rarely calls upon a people at a time of their choosing.
In life we keep thinking later on when I have a better job, or when I have more
money or when I have more free time I will make the change. But the reality is,
the time for change is now. Things may be difficult in your life, things may
not be ideal. But the time for change is now. It’s no longer okay to stay the
same, its no longer okay to be mediocre.
Now is the time to raise the likes of Aisha, Aisyah,
Khadija (RA) and all of the other great leaders through their legacies. And
that is how we honour it.
#ShareTheKhayr. Feel free to share it and make dua for us :)
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