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The Messenger of Allah, (saw) said: "The parable of a good friend and a bad friend is that of a carrier of musk and a blacksmith. The carrier of musk will give you some, or you will buy some, or you will notice a good smell; but as for the blacksmith, he will burn your clothes or you will notice a bad smell." [Sahih Muslim, Book of Righteousness, Hadith #6692]
The above hadith meant that if we are in the company of good people or friends , we'll tend to follow his/her good character and are influenced by their good habits. They're able to give wise and good advises to us , and lead us to the right path. Hang out with the righteous people and you'll benefit from it
If you're hanging out with the good companion , it is equivalent to being friends with a perfume seller, you'll smell good, pleasant and naturally feel good. The righteous person will bound to influence you to do deeds and Insya'Allah you'll benefit from it.
Dear brothers and sisters , do choose your companions/friend carefully as he/she might influence you towards the good or the bad. Bad companions might tarnish your reputation or worst, changed you. May Allah (swt) save us and all the believers from fall into the Hellfire Insya'Allah
Transcribed By Wajeeha Nisar Ahmed Khan
An Educationalist and a Freelance Writer
The literal meanings of a friend-be there for a friend whenever your friend needs you.
1. WALLI (The Protector, The Helper)
o A friend who cares for you, when you are in trouble and he guides you.
o Another word used for this type of friend is HAMEEM, literal meaning extreme heat. Means a friend with whom you have great intimacy, with her you feel warm & comfortable.
Surah Baqrah Ayah # 257.
اللَّهُ وَلِيُّ الَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا يُخْرِجُهُمْ مِنَ الظُّلُمَاتِ إِلَى النُّورِ وَالَّذِينَ كَفَرُوا أَوْلِيَاؤُهُمُ الطَّاغُوتُ يُخْرِجُونَهُمْ مِنَ النُّورِ إِلَى الظُّلُمَاتِ أُولَئِكَ أَصْحَابُ النَّارِ هُمْ فِيهَا خَالِدُون
“Allah is the walli of those who believe. HE brings them out from darkness into light.But as for those who disbelieve, their Walis are Taghut, they bring them out from light into darkness. Those are the dwellers of the Fire, and they will abide therein forever.”
Note : We are required to be a walli and hameem with our siblings, cousins and enemies. We have to tolerate their misbehavior.
2.SADDIQUE from sidq (Truthful)
o A genuine friend, who is your friend for your sake, not to get any kind of benefit from you.
o The one who never gives up on you when you start making mistakes.
o Remains in touch with you even if you establish a distance with them because of their honesty.
o Continuously feel pain for you.
o Who supports you at every moment (for the good).
o Who is your Shafa’ee.
Surah An-Nisa, Ayah # 69
ومَنْ يُطِعِ اللَّهَ وَالرَّسُولَ فَأُولَئِكَ مَعَ الَّذِينَ أَنْعَمَ اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِمْ مِنَ النَّبِيِّينَ وَالصِّدِّيقِينَ وَالشُّهَدَاءِ وَالصَّالِحِينَ وَحَسُنَ أُولَئِكَ رَفِيقًا
“ And those who obey Allah the Messenger, then they will be in the company of those on whom Allah has bestowed His Grace, of the Prophets, the Siddiqun, the martyrs, and the righteous. And how excellent these companions are!”
3. SAHIB (The person sitting next to you)
o It’s a casual acquaintance or someone who is looking out for you.
o Concerned about you.
o Tries to help you to the best of her ability.
o The more she spends time with you, the more she knows you and your emotions.
Surah Al-Baqarah, Ayah # 81 & 82
بَلَى مَنْ كَسَبَ سَيِّئَةً وَأَحَاطَتْ بِهِ خَطِيئَتُهُ فَأُولَئِكَ أَصْحَابُ النَّارِ هُمْ فِيهَا خَالِدُونَ
“ Yes! Whosoever earns evil and his sin has surrounded him, they are
dwellers of the fire; they will dwell therein forever.”
وَالَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ أُولَئِكَ أَصْحَابُ الْجَنَّةِ هُمْ فِيهَا خَالِدُونَ
“And those who believe and do righteous good deeds, they are dwellers of Paradise, they will dwell therein forever.”
4.WALEJA comes from the word Walaja (To Penetrate)
o A friend who is a partner in your business.
o Involved in every matter of your life
o It’s a very close type of friendship and is rare.
o Extreme trust is involve in this kind of friendship.
o Allah سبحانہ و تعالی is our Waleja. HE put us in trials to see what role He has in our lives.
o The Prophetصلی اللہ علیہ و آلیہ وسلم is our Waleja according to how much we are acting upon his sunnah. His sunnah must be followed in each and every sphere of our life.
o Finally, if you have Allah سبحانہ و تعالی and HIS Messenger صلی اللہ علیہ و آلیہ وسلم as Waleja in your life than Allah سبحانہ و تعالی will let in true believers as waleja in your life.
Surah At-Taubah, Ayah # 16,
َمْ حَسِبْتُمْ أَنْ تُتْرَكُوا وَلَمَّا يَعْلَمِ اللَّهُ الَّذِينَ جَاهَدُوا مِنْكُمْ وَلَمْ يَتَّخِذُوا مِنْ دُونِ اللَّهِ وَلَا رَسُولِهِ وَلَا الْمُؤْمِنِينَ وَلِيجَةً وَاللَّهُ خَبِيرٌ بِمَا تَعْمَلُونَ
“ Do you think that you shall be left alone while Allah has not tested those among you who have striven hard and fought and have not taken Walijah besides Allah and His Messenger, and the believers. Allah is well-Acquainted with what you do.”
5. BITA’ANA from Batan (Secret)
o A friend who keeps your secrets.
o يَاأَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا لَا تَتَّخِذُوا بِطَانَةً مِنْ دُونِكُمْ لَا يَأْلُونَكُمْ خَبَالًا وَدُّوا مَا عَنِتُّمْ قَدْ بَدَتِ الْبَغْضَاءُ مِنْ أَفْوَاهِهِمْ وَمَا تُخْفِي صُدُورُهُمْ أَكْبَرُ قَدْ بَيَّنَّا لَكُمُ الْآيَاتِ إِنْ كُنْتُمْ تَعْقِلُونَ
“ O you who believe! Take not as Bitanah (advisors, consultants, protectors, helpers, friends) those outside your religion since they will not fail to do their best to corrupt you. They desire to harm you severely. Hatred has already appeared from their mouths, but what their breasts conceal is far worse. Indeed We have made plain to you the verse if you understand.”
Note : According to scholars “Don’t share your secrets with every friend, make it sure that you share your secrets with the right person who can keep it and help you.”
6.QAREEN from Qaran (Always moving together)
o A friend with whom you have a lot in common.
o Both always think alike.
o Qareen can be bad, but when she becomes bad you should be a Sadique or Sahib but no more a Qareen now.
Surah As-Saffat ,Ayah # 51
قَالَ قَائِلٌ مِنْهُمْ إِنِّي كَانَ لِي قَرِينٌ
“A speaker of them will say: “Verily, I had a companion (in the world)”
Continuation
يَقُولُ أَئِنَّكَ لَمِنَ الْمُصَدِّقِينَ
52: Who used to say : Are you among those who believe (in resurrection after death).
أَئِذَا مِتْنَا وَكُنَّا تُرَابًا وَعِظَامًا أَئِنَّا لَمَدِينُونَ
53: “ (That) when we die and become dust and bones, shall we indeed (be raised up to receive reward or punishment (according to our deeds)?”
قَالَ هَلْ أَنْتُمْ مُطَّلِعُونَ
54: “ (The speaker) said: “Will you look down?”
فَاطَّلَعَ فَرَآهُ فِي سَوَاءِ الْجَحِيمِ
55: “So he looked down and saw him in the midst of the Fire.”
قَالَ تَاللَّهِ إِنْ كِدْتَ لَتُرْدِينِ
56: “He said : “By Allah ! You have nearly ruined me.”
TWO BEST KINDS OF FRIENDS
7. KHALEEL from Khullah (Penetrate into Your Heart)
o Always thinks about you, even when you are not with her.
o Rare category.
o Ibrahim AS was a Khaleel to Allah سبحانہ و تعالی
o Make those people your friend who has Taqwa.
Surah An-Nisa, Ayah # 125
وَمَنْ أَحْسَنُ دِينًا مِمَّنْ أَسْلَمَ وَجْهَهُ لِلَّهِ وَهُوَ مُحْسِنٌ وَهُوَ مُحْسِنٌ وَاتَّبَعَ مِلَّةَ إِبْرَاهِيمَ حَنِيفًا وَاتَّخَذَ اللَّهُ إِبْرَاهِيمَ خَلِيلًا
Who can be better in religion than one who submits his whole self to Allah, does good, and follows the way of Abraham the true in Faith? For Allah did take Abraham for a friend.
8. RAFEEQ from Rafaq (with whom you feel relaxed)
o A friend with whom you feel relaxed and get comfort in her company.
o You can be yourself in her company there’s no need to be artificial in their presence.
Surah An- Nisa Ayah # 69
مَنْ يُطِعِ اللَّهَ وَالرَّسُولَ فَأُولَئِكَ مَعَ الَّذِينَ أَنْعَمَ اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِمْ مِنَ النَّبِيِّينَ وَالصِّدِّيقِينَ وَالشُّهَدَاءِ وَالصَّالِحِينَ وَحَسُنَ أُولَئِكَ رَفِيقًا
All who obey Allah and the messenger are in the company of those on whom is the Grace of Allah,- of the prophets (who teach), the sincere (lovers of Truth), the witnesses (who testify), and the Righteous (who do good): Ah! what a beautiful fellowship!
TWO BAD KINDS OF FRIENDS MENTIONED IN THE QURAN
9.KHAZOUL from Khazala (Deception)
o Who only acts like a friend.
o At convenient times remains with you, but when you in trouble that kind of friend disappears.
o Deceitful like Shaytan.
Surah Al- Furqan Ayah # 29
لَقَدْ أَضَلَّنِي عَنِ الذِّكْرِ بَعْدَ إِذْ جَاءَنِي وَكَانَ الشَّيْطَانُ لِلْإِنْسَانِ خَذُولً
He did lead me astray from the Message (of Allah) after it had come to me! Ah! the Evil One is but a traitor to man!
10.KHADAN from Akhdan (feels attracted)
o This kind of friendship is between girls and boys.
o Strongly prohibited in Islam.
Surah An-Nisa Ayah # 25
وَمَنْ لَمْ يَسْتَطِعْ مِنْكُمْ طَوْلًا أَنْ يَنْكِحَ الْمُحْصَنَاتِ الْمُؤْمِنَاتِ فَمِنْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُكُمْ مِنْ فَتَيَاتِكُمُ الْمُؤْمِنَاتِ وَاللَّهُ أَعْلَمُ بِإِيمَانِكُمْ بَعْضُكُمْ مِنْ بَعْضٍ فَانْكِحُوهُنَّ بِإِذْنِ أَهْلِهِنَّ وَءَاتُوهُنَّ أُجُورَهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ مُحْصَنَاتٍ غَيْرَ مُسَافِحَاتٍ وَلَا مُتَّخِذَاتِ أَخْدَانٍ فَإِذَا أُحْصِنَّ فَإِنْ أَتَيْنَ بِفَاحِشَةٍ فَعَلَيْهِنَّ نِصْفُ مَا عَلَى الْمُحْصَنَاتِ مِنَ الْعَذَابِ ذَلِكَ لِمَنْ خَشِيَ الْعَنَتَ مِنْكُمْ وَأَنْتَصْبِرُوا خَيْرٌ لَكُمْ وَاللَّهُ غَفُورٌ رَحِيم
If any of you have not the means wherewith to wed free believing women, they may wed believing girls from among those whom your right hands possess: And Allah hath full knowledge about your faith. Ye are one from another: Wed them with the leave of their owners, and give them their dowers, according to what is reasonable: They should be chaste, not lustful, nor taking paramours: when they are taken in wedlock, if they fall into shame, their punishment is half that for free women. This (permission) is for those among you who fear sin; but it is better for you that to practice self-restraint. And Allah is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful.
Final Point:
Most important thing is that try to have the best qualities of all these types of friends. Be the one with whom others can find comfort and warmth.
o A friend who cares for you, when you are in trouble and he guides you.
o Another word used for this type of friend is HAMEEM, literal meaning extreme heat. Means a friend with whom you have great intimacy, with her you feel warm & comfortable.
Surah Baqrah Ayah # 257.
اللَّهُ وَلِيُّ الَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا يُخْرِجُهُمْ مِنَ الظُّلُمَاتِ إِلَى النُّورِ وَالَّذِينَ كَفَرُوا أَوْلِيَاؤُهُمُ الطَّاغُوتُ يُخْرِجُونَهُمْ مِنَ النُّورِ إِلَى الظُّلُمَاتِ أُولَئِكَ أَصْحَابُ النَّارِ هُمْ فِيهَا خَالِدُون
“Allah is the walli of those who believe. HE brings them out from darkness into light.But as for those who disbelieve, their Walis are Taghut, they bring them out from light into darkness. Those are the dwellers of the Fire, and they will abide therein forever.”
Note : We are required to be a walli and hameem with our siblings, cousins and enemies. We have to tolerate their misbehavior.
2.SADDIQUE from sidq (Truthful)
o A genuine friend, who is your friend for your sake, not to get any kind of benefit from you.
o The one who never gives up on you when you start making mistakes.
o Remains in touch with you even if you establish a distance with them because of their honesty.
o Continuously feel pain for you.
o Who supports you at every moment (for the good).
o Who is your Shafa’ee.
Surah An-Nisa, Ayah # 69
ومَنْ يُطِعِ اللَّهَ وَالرَّسُولَ فَأُولَئِكَ مَعَ الَّذِينَ أَنْعَمَ اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِمْ مِنَ النَّبِيِّينَ وَالصِّدِّيقِينَ وَالشُّهَدَاءِ وَالصَّالِحِينَ وَحَسُنَ أُولَئِكَ رَفِيقًا
“ And those who obey Allah the Messenger, then they will be in the company of those on whom Allah has bestowed His Grace, of the Prophets, the Siddiqun, the martyrs, and the righteous. And how excellent these companions are!”
3. SAHIB (The person sitting next to you)
o It’s a casual acquaintance or someone who is looking out for you.
o Concerned about you.
o Tries to help you to the best of her ability.
o The more she spends time with you, the more she knows you and your emotions.
Surah Al-Baqarah, Ayah # 81 & 82
بَلَى مَنْ كَسَبَ سَيِّئَةً وَأَحَاطَتْ بِهِ خَطِيئَتُهُ فَأُولَئِكَ أَصْحَابُ النَّارِ هُمْ فِيهَا خَالِدُونَ
“ Yes! Whosoever earns evil and his sin has surrounded him, they are
dwellers of the fire; they will dwell therein forever.”
وَالَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ أُولَئِكَ أَصْحَابُ الْجَنَّةِ هُمْ فِيهَا خَالِدُونَ
“And those who believe and do righteous good deeds, they are dwellers of Paradise, they will dwell therein forever.”
4.WALEJA comes from the word Walaja (To Penetrate)
o A friend who is a partner in your business.
o Involved in every matter of your life
o It’s a very close type of friendship and is rare.
o Extreme trust is involve in this kind of friendship.
o Allah سبحانہ و تعالی is our Waleja. HE put us in trials to see what role He has in our lives.
o The Prophetصلی اللہ علیہ و آلیہ وسلم is our Waleja according to how much we are acting upon his sunnah. His sunnah must be followed in each and every sphere of our life.
o Finally, if you have Allah سبحانہ و تعالی and HIS Messenger صلی اللہ علیہ و آلیہ وسلم as Waleja in your life than Allah سبحانہ و تعالی will let in true believers as waleja in your life.
Surah At-Taubah, Ayah # 16,
َمْ حَسِبْتُمْ أَنْ تُتْرَكُوا وَلَمَّا يَعْلَمِ اللَّهُ الَّذِينَ جَاهَدُوا مِنْكُمْ وَلَمْ يَتَّخِذُوا مِنْ دُونِ اللَّهِ وَلَا رَسُولِهِ وَلَا الْمُؤْمِنِينَ وَلِيجَةً وَاللَّهُ خَبِيرٌ بِمَا تَعْمَلُونَ
“ Do you think that you shall be left alone while Allah has not tested those among you who have striven hard and fought and have not taken Walijah besides Allah and His Messenger, and the believers. Allah is well-Acquainted with what you do.”
5. BITA’ANA from Batan (Secret)
o A friend who keeps your secrets.
o يَاأَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا لَا تَتَّخِذُوا بِطَانَةً مِنْ دُونِكُمْ لَا يَأْلُونَكُمْ خَبَالًا وَدُّوا مَا عَنِتُّمْ قَدْ بَدَتِ الْبَغْضَاءُ مِنْ أَفْوَاهِهِمْ وَمَا تُخْفِي صُدُورُهُمْ أَكْبَرُ قَدْ بَيَّنَّا لَكُمُ الْآيَاتِ إِنْ كُنْتُمْ تَعْقِلُونَ
“ O you who believe! Take not as Bitanah (advisors, consultants, protectors, helpers, friends) those outside your religion since they will not fail to do their best to corrupt you. They desire to harm you severely. Hatred has already appeared from their mouths, but what their breasts conceal is far worse. Indeed We have made plain to you the verse if you understand.”
Note : According to scholars “Don’t share your secrets with every friend, make it sure that you share your secrets with the right person who can keep it and help you.”
6.QAREEN from Qaran (Always moving together)
o A friend with whom you have a lot in common.
o Both always think alike.
o Qareen can be bad, but when she becomes bad you should be a Sadique or Sahib but no more a Qareen now.
Surah As-Saffat ,Ayah # 51
قَالَ قَائِلٌ مِنْهُمْ إِنِّي كَانَ لِي قَرِينٌ
“A speaker of them will say: “Verily, I had a companion (in the world)”
Continuation
يَقُولُ أَئِنَّكَ لَمِنَ الْمُصَدِّقِينَ
52: Who used to say : Are you among those who believe (in resurrection after death).
أَئِذَا مِتْنَا وَكُنَّا تُرَابًا وَعِظَامًا أَئِنَّا لَمَدِينُونَ
53: “ (That) when we die and become dust and bones, shall we indeed (be raised up to receive reward or punishment (according to our deeds)?”
قَالَ هَلْ أَنْتُمْ مُطَّلِعُونَ
54: “ (The speaker) said: “Will you look down?”
فَاطَّلَعَ فَرَآهُ فِي سَوَاءِ الْجَحِيمِ
55: “So he looked down and saw him in the midst of the Fire.”
قَالَ تَاللَّهِ إِنْ كِدْتَ لَتُرْدِينِ
56: “He said : “By Allah ! You have nearly ruined me.”
TWO BEST KINDS OF FRIENDS
7. KHALEEL from Khullah (Penetrate into Your Heart)
o Always thinks about you, even when you are not with her.
o Rare category.
o Ibrahim AS was a Khaleel to Allah سبحانہ و تعالی
o Make those people your friend who has Taqwa.
Surah An-Nisa, Ayah # 125
وَمَنْ أَحْسَنُ دِينًا مِمَّنْ أَسْلَمَ وَجْهَهُ لِلَّهِ وَهُوَ مُحْسِنٌ وَهُوَ مُحْسِنٌ وَاتَّبَعَ مِلَّةَ إِبْرَاهِيمَ حَنِيفًا وَاتَّخَذَ اللَّهُ إِبْرَاهِيمَ خَلِيلًا
Who can be better in religion than one who submits his whole self to Allah, does good, and follows the way of Abraham the true in Faith? For Allah did take Abraham for a friend.
8. RAFEEQ from Rafaq (with whom you feel relaxed)
o A friend with whom you feel relaxed and get comfort in her company.
o You can be yourself in her company there’s no need to be artificial in their presence.
Surah An- Nisa Ayah # 69
مَنْ يُطِعِ اللَّهَ وَالرَّسُولَ فَأُولَئِكَ مَعَ الَّذِينَ أَنْعَمَ اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِمْ مِنَ النَّبِيِّينَ وَالصِّدِّيقِينَ وَالشُّهَدَاءِ وَالصَّالِحِينَ وَحَسُنَ أُولَئِكَ رَفِيقًا
All who obey Allah and the messenger are in the company of those on whom is the Grace of Allah,- of the prophets (who teach), the sincere (lovers of Truth), the witnesses (who testify), and the Righteous (who do good): Ah! what a beautiful fellowship!
TWO BAD KINDS OF FRIENDS MENTIONED IN THE QURAN
9.KHAZOUL from Khazala (Deception)
o Who only acts like a friend.
o At convenient times remains with you, but when you in trouble that kind of friend disappears.
o Deceitful like Shaytan.
Surah Al- Furqan Ayah # 29
لَقَدْ أَضَلَّنِي عَنِ الذِّكْرِ بَعْدَ إِذْ جَاءَنِي وَكَانَ الشَّيْطَانُ لِلْإِنْسَانِ خَذُولً
He did lead me astray from the Message (of Allah) after it had come to me! Ah! the Evil One is but a traitor to man!
10.KHADAN from Akhdan (feels attracted)
o This kind of friendship is between girls and boys.
o Strongly prohibited in Islam.
Surah An-Nisa Ayah # 25
وَمَنْ لَمْ يَسْتَطِعْ مِنْكُمْ طَوْلًا أَنْ يَنْكِحَ الْمُحْصَنَاتِ الْمُؤْمِنَاتِ فَمِنْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُكُمْ مِنْ فَتَيَاتِكُمُ الْمُؤْمِنَاتِ وَاللَّهُ أَعْلَمُ بِإِيمَانِكُمْ بَعْضُكُمْ مِنْ بَعْضٍ فَانْكِحُوهُنَّ بِإِذْنِ أَهْلِهِنَّ وَءَاتُوهُنَّ أُجُورَهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ مُحْصَنَاتٍ غَيْرَ مُسَافِحَاتٍ وَلَا مُتَّخِذَاتِ أَخْدَانٍ فَإِذَا أُحْصِنَّ فَإِنْ أَتَيْنَ بِفَاحِشَةٍ فَعَلَيْهِنَّ نِصْفُ مَا عَلَى الْمُحْصَنَاتِ مِنَ الْعَذَابِ ذَلِكَ لِمَنْ خَشِيَ الْعَنَتَ مِنْكُمْ وَأَنْتَصْبِرُوا خَيْرٌ لَكُمْ وَاللَّهُ غَفُورٌ رَحِيم
If any of you have not the means wherewith to wed free believing women, they may wed believing girls from among those whom your right hands possess: And Allah hath full knowledge about your faith. Ye are one from another: Wed them with the leave of their owners, and give them their dowers, according to what is reasonable: They should be chaste, not lustful, nor taking paramours: when they are taken in wedlock, if they fall into shame, their punishment is half that for free women. This (permission) is for those among you who fear sin; but it is better for you that to practice self-restraint. And Allah is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful.
Final Point:
Most important thing is that try to have the best qualities of all these types of friends. Be the one with whom others can find comfort and warmth.
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